Putting the Sensuality Back in Birth

Well, hot damn, when I got pregnant with my sixth I just couldn’t
do it (be induced) anymore. A warm, decisive force was in me, quietly telling
me my moves, and instructing me to move as quickly away from the
medical model of birth—-and life—-as possible. It was so hard
sometimes, but I managed to trust. Even when the pregnancy grew so
long, 44 weeks, I managed to trust in birth.

Then the birth came, so easy, so beautiful, and for the first time,
I was not once hooked up to a machine. I was not once penetrated
by hooks, needles, or knives. I was radiant, blissful. I looked in
a mirror once–I glowed! In every hospital birth I’d ever had,
fitful, sagging sobbing was my most usual course; and I always
thought it was hormonal. No, the glow was hormonal; the sobbing was
a sign that I had been in a very wrong place, in the wrong time in history
for giving birth. (Oh yeah. Name a worse time—-you can’t. No woman
can go into a hospital birth now without needless intervention.) I
just pushed my baby out and went to bed—-my bed—-after drinking
from my own cups and peeing in my own toilet. Then I cuddled up
under my own covers with my husband and new baby. This birth changed
me. Before, I was gray; a vital connection hadn’t been made that
illuminated my pure colors for me.

But then, I gave birth as a woman—-fully female, only my own hormones,
no trauma or sadness, just sweetly sensual, rich magnificence.
That’s how I felt that day—-so beautiful and powerful, sexy, and
in love.

Exerpted from “Resexualizing Childbirth” by Leilah McCracken

4 thoughts on “Putting the Sensuality Back in Birth

  1. This is quickly becoming one of my favorite blogs, lol.

    I love the descriptions of feeling sexy, powerful and beautiful. It’s so true. I ride that high for days after each one of my births, lol.

  2. It is so sad to me that not every woman has this experience with her first birth. It truly is birth rape, as in something is taken away by force. As an abuse survivor, I don’t think I would have had anymore children after the first one if that had not been my experience.

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