1981: I Got a Baby for Mother’s Day

I was due in May of 1981. I knew exactly how my birth would go. It would be the beginning of the summer in Vancouver, BC, Canada. Because I lived right across from a beautiful beach, I knew I would spend my early birthing hours down at the ocean with my 4 year old daughter. I’d be dressed in something loose and billowy. We would spend a few hours contemplating the waves coming in and out, in and out, in and out; just as the waves of birth would take over my body like an elemental force of Nature. I would get my guidance from the sea and then go home to birth my baby peacefully.

Birth waves

Birth waves

Of course, this was my fantasy birth and the real birth went the way it went. It began at the pharmacy the evening of May 9. While paying for my purchases, I felt something “whoosh” out of me. What the heck?, was that the mucous plug? Such a strange feeling of something dropping down. When I got home with my daughter and checked, sure enough, there was the mucous plug in my underwear. I put Jenny to bed and called my midwife, Jude, to give her an early heads up about this beginning of the birth but told her I was not having any birth sensations at all. When I hung up the phone from talking to her, I realized that I WAS getting mild sensations but they were very light. I settled into the last night of the pregnancy knowing I’d be meeting my baby soon and happy that everything was ready.

I woke a few times in the night and couldn’t sleep so I picked up the novel I was reading, “Shogun”, James Clavell’s epic story of Japan. I would read a few chapters while the birth sensations came and went easily and then I would snooze again. The book and the birth sensations combined to give me dreams of having a little Japanese baby.

About 6 a.m. my membranes released spontaneously while I was resting in bed. I thought to myself “this isn’t the way I do it” “That is so weird!”. I expected this birth to proceed along to the pushing stage and, then, have my membranes “go”, like my previous experience of home birth.

Here I was at the very beginning and my membranes had released, how strange. I phoned my midwife again and let her know that the membranes had released but I really wasn’t having the baby for a long time and that I would call her back when it got stronger. She said “no, I’m coming over to be with you now.” I assured her that it was okay for her to come but that it really wasn’t necessary. She was adamant that she was on her way.

As soon as I hung up the phone from speaking to her, my body shifted into high gear birthing. I could feel hormones running through my body like someone was injecting them with a needle. I let the feelings be and even tried to intensify them. I sat on the toilet and reminded myself “What you resist persists”. I let go of all fight and surrendered more and more to the intense force of the birth and I found it to be painless when I did. I knew big things were happening and, if I lost my resolve and resisted, it hurt but then, when I surrendered and tried to expand the feelings even more, it was painless and actually fun to observe.

When Jude came in to the bathroom, she said “How far apart are they?” I said “It’s just one sensation that goes up and down but there’s no space in between. It doesn’t hurt though.” She swung into action getting linens out and boiling water on the stove and I can remember thinking “What is she doing? I’m not going to have the baby for ages.” My sister tells me that I called her about 8 a.m. and calmly told her to come to my place for the birth but I have no recollection of doing that. My daughter, Jenny, woke up and got into her best dress for the “birth day party”. At one point, I recall her asking me “Mommy, do you know where my little socks with the blue frill are?” and that question broke my focus on expanding the sensations. I replied through clenched teeth “Go call your Father.” She went to the phone and called her dad saying “Can you come over, daddy, my mommy’s having her baby today.” My ex knew that it takes me a long time to give birth so he got up, showered, shaved and missed the birth because it wasn’t long this time. When she called him back shortly and said “Daddy, I have a new baby sister”, he came running.

Somehow, the four women who I wanted at the birth arrived. . . I was oblivious to their presence except to notice that I could fully focus now that they had my back. I felt the urge to push and was astounded “Wait a minute, I haven’t had any pain yet! I CAN’T be pushing.” Pushing waits for no woman and, there I was, right into it and looking for the right position. I had visualized all through the pregnancy that I would push on all fours. That position felt so right the last time I birthed, but it was all wrong this time. I tried side lying with my leg elevated. . . “Oh no, that was SOOOOO awkward”. Finally, I semi-sat scrunched into the corner of my bed supported by the walls on two sides and that’s what worked for me. I was completely silent through all this. I quickly felt the baby move down to give me that “stretched beyond known limits” feeling in my bum. Now, it was painful. I remember thinking “Gloria, you idiot, you knew it would feel like this. . . how could you get yourself here again?” At one point, it felt like my midwife had a large, prickly gauze square pushed hard up against my bottom. With closed eyes and through gritted teeth, I said “Get that gauze square off my ass.” Jude said gently, “Gloria, open your eyes. . . there’s no one anywhere near you.” Sure enough, I opened my eyes to see my four lovely attendants all standing seven feet away from me as I had asked them. (Long before the day of this birth, I had told them there was to be no touching, no fetal heart tone taking, no blood pressure checks, no exams of any kind. I wanted to catch the baby myself and I was confident even to do it alone if they hadn’t agreed to my wishes.) The feeling of counter pressure on my butt was just the forehead of a 10# baby trying to exit a tight place.

I put my hands down to hold my tissues and baby Joanna gently emerged into my hands. She was perfect. Jenny and I sat and marveled at her beauty. The “fairy godmothers” around the bed leaned in with loving gazes. I had made it through and the feeling of relief and relaxation engulfed me. Then I heard Suzanne say to Jude “There’s more blood than I like”. When I heard that, I realized that I needed to consciously stop bleeding and so I changed my state momentarily and tightened things up to keep the birth at home. Right away, I heard Suzanne say “Oh, it’s okay now.” I’m so grateful that she gave me the information I needed so I could do what I needed to do to help my body.

We hung out for a long time with the new baby and then I napped, ate and washed. After that, all the women and my two daughters sat in a circle in the living room and we talked about birth. My sister and my friend, Faye, had both had cesareans and their experience with major abdominal surgery was the main focus of the conversation, as I recall. It may sound strange, but I remember that the conversing about cesareans was so perfect. I was happy that my sister was able to see her niece born so peacefully and Faye went on to have a VBAC birth a few years later.

Jude Loyer, my midwife, had been a student midwife with me for a few years. We were very close friends right from the start and I wanted my birth to be her “birth” as a midwife. I was not an easy first client so she was a brave soul. She went on to attend many births in Calgary, Alberta and she died of non-Hodgkins lymphoma at 47 years old. This is a photo of Jude around that time with her own baby daughter, April. JudeApril.part I was able to help Jude’s grandson be born so our families are still intertwined. I’ll be forever grateful to Jude for helping me learn so many important birth lessons that I have been able to pass on to others.

Jude Loyer, my midwife, with her daughter, April

Jude Loyer, my midwife, with her daughter, April

May 10, 1981 was Mother’s Day. Instead of the sunny, warm beach day that I envisioned, Mother Nature opened up the sky and threw down lightening bolts and thunder. Right after baby Joanna’s arrival we had a massive rain storm that overflowed the streets with water and washed the Earth clean. Joanna is turning 29 years old and, to this day, there is nothing I would change about my experience of giving birth to her. How wonderful to experience a birth with no regrets. Whenever I do feel blue, I remember that God sent me the best Mother’s Day present ever in 1981–a healthy baby girl who has filled my life with joy and sunshine. Lucky me.

What I see first thing in the morning is:

I was asked to answer these questions by an Australian online magazine called “JOY”.

What I see first thing in the morning is…my bed canopy and blue curtains (unfortunately Robert Redford lives somewhere else)


The moment that changed me forever was
…when the midwife placed my daughter, Genevieve, on my thigh and she squeezed my skin with her little baby hand as if to say “Hi Mom, we made it.”

The most amazing thing I ever made was.. 3 daughters

My favourite book is
Daughters of Copper Woman by Ann Cameron

I adore being…cute, funny and brilliant

Give me a broom and I’ll make you some…clean kitchen floor (was that a dumb question or is it just me?)

My perfect date would be…me, Robert Redford, on that boat in “Indecent Proposal”

As a blind date, I would be…a complete fraud until I got the poor guy into my trap

When my style is in fashion, it will be…a foggy Friday


Yesterday I
…had a Blessingway Ceremony for an almost-due woman. Her 17 y.o. daughter was there, too. I attended her birth 17 years ago and it’s so nice to be looking forward to attending this one, as well. Life is good.

Amy & Phil’s Unassisted Birth (third baby)

Baby Leo Dane Themba, born 7:40 am Sunday Jan 17, 2010 about 10 1/2 lbs, 42 weeks and 2 days.

Well first I’d like to congratulate myself on doing so well with the longest pregnancy ever. It seems like this baby needed to grow a bit, and I’m glad I let him.

So baby was due on New Year’s Day. I was having zillions of contractions for weeks before which were a new thing for me. With the other two babies I never felt as much as a Braxton Hicks contraction before I was in labour. So I figured that with all the contractions I would probably not go much past 40 weeks. ANYWAYS….

On Friday evening I decided to try and see if I could feel my own cervix to see if I had started to dilate at all…well lo and behold I could actually feel that I was about 5 cm dilated, mostly effaced, and I could feel baby’s head through a thin layer of fluid and membranes! I was very excited. It made me feel much happier to be able to know I was making progress. I also began to think it would be a short labour once it started because I was already halfway dilated without any “labour”!

On Saturday I was a bit disappointed to wake up still pregnant, so I decided to stop moping and go grocery shopping. I walked around a few stores and then went home. Still not in labour.

That night, when we said our prayer together, Phil said “please help us to have a good rest and then that Amy will go into labour in the morning.” heehee! That was very specific. I guess God agreed it was time for baby to be born because I woke up after 5 good hours of sleep at 4:30 am with contractions.

I wasn’t sure it was labour though because they weren’t much stronger than the contractions I had been feeling on and off for weeks. I decided to get out of bed and go sit on my recliner chair in the bedroom thinking that an upright position might help things along if it was really labour.

I sat there for about an hour or so having a bunch of contractions, I couldn’t see the clock and I was purposely avoiding timing things because that’s not useful. So the rest of the story I will try to estimate times, but they aren’t accurate because I never looked at a clock until he was born. Anyway, I figure for that hour on the chair I was having a pretty strong contraction every 5 min or so.

About quarter to six Phil woke up and asked me if I was in labour. I was pretty sure I was, but I wasn’t sure if it was time for him to get out of bed and set up our birth room yet, so I said “I think so, but I don’t know”. And he asked if he should go set up the pool etc and I said “well I guess you could if you want.” so he got up and went downstairs.

I spent the next hour or so after that labouring upstairs getting more and more unable to find a good position. I mostly stood up and leaned on the windowsill or the two walls in the bathroom since I was finding it necessary to be near the toilet 😉 I tried labouring on the bed a bit, but there wasn’t anything to lean on, and I found it horrible to try and support myself with my arms during a contraction.

Eventually I thought it might be a good idea to try and eat something since I hadn’t had anything to eat since supper. I went downstairs to the kitchen where Phil was setting things up and was able to kind of drink some juice, but I really didn’t feel up to eating. By that point I was having really hard contractions and I was making some noise to get above them. I still stayed standing and just leaned on the counter or just stood in the middle of the floor and sort of rocked. The pool was almost ready, but the water was much too hot. I stood around the kitchen waiting for Phil to be able to cool off the water and get the level up where it should be. Phil was asking me questions, but I found it impossible to speak. It would take all my effort to muster a nod or a shake of the head, so mostly I just ignored his questions. It wasn’t that I was in so much pain; it was more that I was just totally stoned on birth hormones and was in another world.

By that time I was having contractions almost nonstop it seems like. I would only get a lull for a few seconds where the contraction would be duller, but it never totally went away. But in those lulls, it was like my head was floating and I would feel REAL good…the birth hormones are kind of pretty sweet drugs 🙂

So I guess it was about a quarter to seven when I got in the pool, and it was like HEAVEN! It made the pain so different and more easy to stay above. I just leaned on the wall of the pool and zoned out. While I was in the pool I had my most difficult contraction and I yelled swear words through most of it, lol. That was the only one where I really lost my grip on things. Labour is good like that because if you lose it for one contraction, you can regroup and start over with the next one.

It was about 7 or so when I decided to try and feel my progress again, so I reached up and I couldn’t feel any cervix anymore, and I could feel the bag of waters protruding out. That made me feel so much better to know I was nearly done, and I just kept my hand there so I could feel that during contractions after that point. I guess the older kids woke up then, but I didn’t hear them. Phil left me and went upstairs, brought the portable DVD player and some grapes and told them to stay in their room a while because mom and dad were busy! lol.

While he was gone I started to feel like maybe pushing a bit at the peak of contractions, so I tried some gentle pushing and I found it felt good! This was a happy discovery because my pushing with Roysten felt like torture. After that, I would push a little bit when I felt like it, and I could feel the bulge of waters slowly moving even more downward. Phil came back into the kitchen and around then the sac exploded during a contraction. I think if I had not been in the pool it would have made a HUGE mess! the fluid was clear and full of bits of vernix, but I didn’t notice that at the time. All I was thinking then was that I must be really almost done because after Roysten’s water broke in the pool, he was born within 2 or 3 minutes.

So, another thing that changed with the pushing contractions, especially after the water broke was that they didn’t hurt anymore. My body stretching around the baby did hurt, but not like torture, and the contractions themselves did not hurt anymore. and pushing felt kind of good to do even though it did hurt. I didn’t say anything to Phil about what was going on, but later he told me he could tell I was pushing by the sounds I made. He told me that when he went behind me to see what was happening. the room was quite dark though, so he couldn’t see very well.

I was making very loud roaring sounds, not because of pain, but just because it somehow helped to make noises as loud as possible. I wonder what my kids thought! They stayed in their room very nicely anyhow.

I could feel that the head was going to come down, and then I knew it was serious so I took my hands away from my bottom, and leaned on the wall of the pool again, kneeling. I just pushed how I felt like doing, which was sort of panting a bit and pushing hard, but panting a bit and then pushing hard… it hurt quite a bit, stretching around the baby, but I knew I wouldn’t tear so I wasn’t afraid. I gave one strong push with a contraction, and I felt his head be born under the water. I reached down and felt to make sure, and yes, there was his head sticking out of me! YEAH! I was glad. My mind got very clear then and I was happy that I had done the biggest part. Later, Phil told me that he was behind me watching, and he saw something in the water, but wasn’t sure what it was because it was so dark in the room, so he also reached in the water and felt the lump he saw, and figured, “yep that’s baby hair!”

Then, I rested for a minute waiting for another contraction, and I thought about just not bothering pushing the rest of the baby out because it was pretty painful with all the stretching, but I figured I had done the big part, and so I would just be tough and do the rest quick! heehee. So I just pushed like crazy with the next contraction and the baby slid out and floated into the water. Phil said “there’s the baby!!” or something, which was good because I wasn’t totally sure the whole body had come out, and then I somehow flipped over really quick, leaving the baby underwater for the moment, and Phil picked him up and put him on my chest! ahhh!! that felt so good! It was just amazing.

He was very quiet for a bit, but I could tell he was alive, just looking around, so I never felt worried that he didn’t cry right away. in fact, it seemed like it was only about five seconds that he was silent, but really I figured out later that it was the more part of a minute. babies who are born in water and whose cords are not cut are often quiet like that because they feel calm and there’s no big rush since the cord is still giving them oxygen for a minute or three. anyway, after a time I felt that I would like to hear him make a noise, so I said to him “ok baby, it’s time for you to make a noise.” and he cried a little, and then he cried a little more.

I wanted to wait until after the placenta came before cutting the cord, but after half an hour in the pool after the birth it hadn’t come out and I was worried the baby was getting cold, so I decided to get out even though it was sort of tricky with the baby still attached to me, and getting us both dried off! but anyway, we did it fine and I went and lay down on the couch with a towel and a couple of chux pads under me. after another half hour, I knew the placenta must be separated by then, and I was having very difficult contractions with the dumb thing just sitting inside me, so during one of them Phil wrapped a facecloth around the cord and pulled it a bit and it came out which was a relief. then we tied the cord with sterilized string, and cut it with sterilized scissors. it had been an hour since the baby was born.

Phil had gone and called the kids down when I was in the pool right after the birth, and they both came in and were very excited. Averie likes the baby, and has given him lots of kisses and wants to see him all the time, but Roysten LOVES the baby and is very enthusiastic…so basically I can never ever put this kid down or Roysten will crush him with loving embraces! lol. I hope he figures out how to be gentle soon. Roysten has even shared his blankie with the new brother, and has tried teaching him about dinosaurs already. also, he has named the baby Roysten. Averie wants to name him Molly, but she understands that’s not a boy name. Roysten might call the baby Roysten for a long time though.

So this little guy slept all day, but has been nursing ALL night since the moment we tried to go to bed. He literally nursed for about five straight hours, just going from one side to the other. Wow, I hope my milk comes in fast. This is a hungry giant baby.

Now that I’m on the computer he has finally decided to sleep. I put him in one of my slings, and walked around with him until he fell asleep. he liked that, but when I tried to go sit on my recliner with him in the sling, he started to cry, so that was a no go. Oh well, Phil is off work for a few weeks, so I can sleep today.

Right now he’s sleeping in my arms. He’s the cutest baby ever and we like him lots and think we’ll keep him 😉
______________________________________________________________________________
Amy’s first birth was a hospital birth with an epidural at the end. Second birth was in a birth centre managed by registered midwives in Canada.

Amy & Phil's Unassisted Birth (third baby)

Baby Leo Dane Themba, born 7:40 am Sunday Jan 17, 2010 about 10 1/2 lbs, 42 weeks and 2 days.

Well first I’d like to congratulate myself on doing so well with the longest pregnancy ever. It seems like this baby needed to grow a bit, and I’m glad I let him.

So baby was due on New Year’s Day. I was having zillions of contractions for weeks before which were a new thing for me. With the other two babies I never felt as much as a Braxton Hicks contraction before I was in labour. So I figured that with all the contractions I would probably not go much past 40 weeks. ANYWAYS….

On Friday evening I decided to try and see if I could feel my own cervix to see if I had started to dilate at all…well lo and behold I could actually feel that I was about 5 cm dilated, mostly effaced, and I could feel baby’s head through a thin layer of fluid and membranes! I was very excited. It made me feel much happier to be able to know I was making progress. I also began to think it would be a short labour once it started because I was already halfway dilated without any “labour”!

On Saturday I was a bit disappointed to wake up still pregnant, so I decided to stop moping and go grocery shopping. I walked around a few stores and then went home. Still not in labour.

That night, when we said our prayer together, Phil said “please help us to have a good rest and then that Amy will go into labour in the morning.” heehee! That was very specific. I guess God agreed it was time for baby to be born because I woke up after 5 good hours of sleep at 4:30 am with contractions.

I wasn’t sure it was labour though because they weren’t much stronger than the contractions I had been feeling on and off for weeks. I decided to get out of bed and go sit on my recliner chair in the bedroom thinking that an upright position might help things along if it was really labour.

I sat there for about an hour or so having a bunch of contractions, I couldn’t see the clock and I was purposely avoiding timing things because that’s not useful. So the rest of the story I will try to estimate times, but they aren’t accurate because I never looked at a clock until he was born. Anyway, I figure for that hour on the chair I was having a pretty strong contraction every 5 min or so.

About quarter to six Phil woke up and asked me if I was in labour. I was pretty sure I was, but I wasn’t sure if it was time for him to get out of bed and set up our birth room yet, so I said “I think so, but I don’t know”. And he asked if he should go set up the pool etc and I said “well I guess you could if you want.” so he got up and went downstairs.

I spent the next hour or so after that labouring upstairs getting more and more unable to find a good position. I mostly stood up and leaned on the windowsill or the two walls in the bathroom since I was finding it necessary to be near the toilet 😉 I tried labouring on the bed a bit, but there wasn’t anything to lean on, and I found it horrible to try and support myself with my arms during a contraction.

Eventually I thought it might be a good idea to try and eat something since I hadn’t had anything to eat since supper. I went downstairs to the kitchen where Phil was setting things up and was able to kind of drink some juice, but I really didn’t feel up to eating. By that point I was having really hard contractions and I was making some noise to get above them. I still stayed standing and just leaned on the counter or just stood in the middle of the floor and sort of rocked. The pool was almost ready, but the water was much too hot. I stood around the kitchen waiting for Phil to be able to cool off the water and get the level up where it should be. Phil was asking me questions, but I found it impossible to speak. It would take all my effort to muster a nod or a shake of the head, so mostly I just ignored his questions. It wasn’t that I was in so much pain; it was more that I was just totally stoned on birth hormones and was in another world.

By that time I was having contractions almost nonstop it seems like. I would only get a lull for a few seconds where the contraction would be duller, but it never totally went away. But in those lulls, it was like my head was floating and I would feel REAL good…the birth hormones are kind of pretty sweet drugs 🙂

So I guess it was about a quarter to seven when I got in the pool, and it was like HEAVEN! It made the pain so different and more easy to stay above. I just leaned on the wall of the pool and zoned out. While I was in the pool I had my most difficult contraction and I yelled swear words through most of it, lol. That was the only one where I really lost my grip on things. Labour is good like that because if you lose it for one contraction, you can regroup and start over with the next one.

It was about 7 or so when I decided to try and feel my progress again, so I reached up and I couldn’t feel any cervix anymore, and I could feel the bag of waters protruding out. That made me feel so much better to know I was nearly done, and I just kept my hand there so I could feel that during contractions after that point. I guess the older kids woke up then, but I didn’t hear them. Phil left me and went upstairs, brought the portable DVD player and some grapes and told them to stay in their room a while because mom and dad were busy! lol.

While he was gone I started to feel like maybe pushing a bit at the peak of contractions, so I tried some gentle pushing and I found it felt good! This was a happy discovery because my pushing with Roysten felt like torture. After that, I would push a little bit when I felt like it, and I could feel the bulge of waters slowly moving even more downward. Phil came back into the kitchen and around then the sac exploded during a contraction. I think if I had not been in the pool it would have made a HUGE mess! the fluid was clear and full of bits of vernix, but I didn’t notice that at the time. All I was thinking then was that I must be really almost done because after Roysten’s water broke in the pool, he was born within 2 or 3 minutes.

So, another thing that changed with the pushing contractions, especially after the water broke was that they didn’t hurt anymore. My body stretching around the baby did hurt, but not like torture, and the contractions themselves did not hurt anymore. and pushing felt kind of good to do even though it did hurt. I didn’t say anything to Phil about what was going on, but later he told me he could tell I was pushing by the sounds I made. He told me that when he went behind me to see what was happening. the room was quite dark though, so he couldn’t see very well.

I was making very loud roaring sounds, not because of pain, but just because it somehow helped to make noises as loud as possible. I wonder what my kids thought! They stayed in their room very nicely anyhow.

I could feel that the head was going to come down, and then I knew it was serious so I took my hands away from my bottom, and leaned on the wall of the pool again, kneeling. I just pushed how I felt like doing, which was sort of panting a bit and pushing hard, but panting a bit and then pushing hard… it hurt quite a bit, stretching around the baby, but I knew I wouldn’t tear so I wasn’t afraid. I gave one strong push with a contraction, and I felt his head be born under the water. I reached down and felt to make sure, and yes, there was his head sticking out of me! YEAH! I was glad. My mind got very clear then and I was happy that I had done the biggest part. Later, Phil told me that he was behind me watching, and he saw something in the water, but wasn’t sure what it was because it was so dark in the room, so he also reached in the water and felt the lump he saw, and figured, “yep that’s baby hair!”

Then, I rested for a minute waiting for another contraction, and I thought about just not bothering pushing the rest of the baby out because it was pretty painful with all the stretching, but I figured I had done the big part, and so I would just be tough and do the rest quick! heehee. So I just pushed like crazy with the next contraction and the baby slid out and floated into the water. Phil said “there’s the baby!!” or something, which was good because I wasn’t totally sure the whole body had come out, and then I somehow flipped over really quick, leaving the baby underwater for the moment, and Phil picked him up and put him on my chest! ahhh!! that felt so good! It was just amazing.

He was very quiet for a bit, but I could tell he was alive, just looking around, so I never felt worried that he didn’t cry right away. in fact, it seemed like it was only about five seconds that he was silent, but really I figured out later that it was the more part of a minute. babies who are born in water and whose cords are not cut are often quiet like that because they feel calm and there’s no big rush since the cord is still giving them oxygen for a minute or three. anyway, after a time I felt that I would like to hear him make a noise, so I said to him “ok baby, it’s time for you to make a noise.” and he cried a little, and then he cried a little more.

I wanted to wait until after the placenta came before cutting the cord, but after half an hour in the pool after the birth it hadn’t come out and I was worried the baby was getting cold, so I decided to get out even though it was sort of tricky with the baby still attached to me, and getting us both dried off! but anyway, we did it fine and I went and lay down on the couch with a towel and a couple of chux pads under me. after another half hour, I knew the placenta must be separated by then, and I was having very difficult contractions with the dumb thing just sitting inside me, so during one of them Phil wrapped a facecloth around the cord and pulled it a bit and it came out which was a relief. then we tied the cord with sterilized string, and cut it with sterilized scissors. it had been an hour since the baby was born.

Phil had gone and called the kids down when I was in the pool right after the birth, and they both came in and were very excited. Averie likes the baby, and has given him lots of kisses and wants to see him all the time, but Roysten LOVES the baby and is very enthusiastic…so basically I can never ever put this kid down or Roysten will crush him with loving embraces! lol. I hope he figures out how to be gentle soon. Roysten has even shared his blankie with the new brother, and has tried teaching him about dinosaurs already. also, he has named the baby Roysten. Averie wants to name him Molly, but she understands that’s not a boy name. Roysten might call the baby Roysten for a long time though.

So this little guy slept all day, but has been nursing ALL night since the moment we tried to go to bed. He literally nursed for about five straight hours, just going from one side to the other. Wow, I hope my milk comes in fast. This is a hungry giant baby.

Now that I’m on the computer he has finally decided to sleep. I put him in one of my slings, and walked around with him until he fell asleep. he liked that, but when I tried to go sit on my recliner with him in the sling, he started to cry, so that was a no go. Oh well, Phil is off work for a few weeks, so I can sleep today.

Right now he’s sleeping in my arms. He’s the cutest baby ever and we like him lots and think we’ll keep him 😉
______________________________________________________________________________
Amy’s first birth was a hospital birth with an epidural at the end. Second birth was in a birth centre managed by registered midwives in Canada.

"My Greek Grandmother Had Twins": a birth story

Don’t you love it when people tell you stories about how their grandmothers gave birth?

One of my favourite grand mother stories was told to me by a client. My client was a Greek woman who only came to see me because she was “dragged” by her (also pregnant) friend.

This lovely pregnant Greek woman was terrified about having her second baby because she had had a bad forceps pull out with her first born. She wanted me to coach her in the hospital and protect her from interventions. One prenatal visit, she told me the story of her grandmother’s birth, as follows:

“My grandmother was expecting her first child. She lived in a small village in Greece where everyone knew each other and knew everyone else’s business, too. She was overdue and everyone would make remarks to her about “When are you going to have that baby.” She felt so huge, fed up and discouraged, she decided to ride her donkey to the next village to visit her married sister for the day.

Pregnant woman on a Donkey

On the way back home, she realized she was getting stronger and stronger cramping and, she finally had to get down off the donkey and squat down. When she did that, she gave birth to the baby. With the placenta still inside her, she wrapped the baby in her skirts and got back on the donkey to continue on home. She hadn’t gone too much further along the road when the cramping returned and she again got off the donkey, squatted to give birth to the placenta, but, no, it was another baby. . . . she had given birth to twins! The placenta came out shortly after and she wrapped the two babies and the placenta in her skirts, mounted the donkey again and rode into her village a proud mama.”

When I heard this story, I knew that the grand daughter would give birth just fine, too. I said to her “You are from good childbearing stock and all we have to do is keep the medical people away from you.” Her birth was great. We got to the hospital when she was at 9 cms dilated. We went into a nice room where she immediately released her membranes on the floor, squatted down at the end of the bed, doctor came in and caught the baby down on the floor. The legacy was returned to this family. Gloria

Megan’s third son, born at home

10 lb 12 oz boy.  Born April 1st 2009 @ 4:40pm

My Third Birth ~ Laticus
 

I surprised myself with this pregnancy; it’s amazing how things are always so different yet the same. My due date was March 20th 2009, but this baby didn’t care much for March. Each date in the future I set as a goal for my third birth I watched go by without a care. Part of me was so impatient to have this baby born and the other part didn’t mind if it took forever, because I was scared about what life would be like with three. I was one week and 5 days past my due date when he decided to come. April 1, 2009 my April fools baby, I like to imagine that he’ll have a great sense of humour!

The night before the birth the only indication I had was that my mucus plug came out before bed but I didn’t think too much of it because I had lost that a few times before my second boy was born, but I did get a little excited. I didn’t tell anyone, I thought if I kept it to myself it might actually mean it was time.
The next morning it was our weekend so my spouse was home (thank goodness) and we put on a new movie to watch with the kids. I had been having contractions since I first opened my eyes that morning but they were slight and I wasn’t watching the clock. Again, I didn’t want to acknowledge what was going on because I thought, if I did, it would be a false alarm. But, as an hour or two went by, my heart beat went up and I made a phone call to my doula to ask if she thought it might be time. She urged me to call my birth attendant, and when I did that, I knew it was time because she took me way more seriously than I took myself!

So, I went and sat beside my spouse who was still watching the movie with the kids and told him my doula and attendant were on their way cause we were having a baby today . . . He was like, “WHAT, REALLY?” It was funny to surprise him like that, he was mostly shocked because I was so calm but sure.While we waited for them to get to the house we put the kids downstairs to play and moved around the furniture in the living room and got out the birth supplies. We pumped up the pool but didn’t fill it yet.

My team arrived and just faded into the back ground. They took care of the kids so my spouse could be glued to my side just like I needed him to be. It was lovely.  He came with me everywhere, I didn’t even need to ask, he just knew. Every time I had a contraction I would just lean on him and he would hold me and rub me and it was so much closer to heaven than hell. The day went on like that and time passed quite quickly for me. My contractions weren’t super close together or super unbearable so part of me was worried this was going to take forever. But sure enough around 3:30-4ish I was feeling like I could get in that pool I was SO looking forward to being in it for the first time. It was so wonderful having the next place to go. I was just starting to get to the point where it wasn’t any fun anymore, where I was having those ‘I don’t want to do this’ thoughts. Then I got in and it WAS heaven; I remember smiling and trying to explain to my spouse how great and neat and cool and wonderful it was! I could stretch my body out long and float, I could move around with such ease!

My wise and lovely Birth Attendant had asked me earlier when I thought I was going to have my baby that day and I told her I didn’t know but in my head I was saying around dinner time, but I didn’t believe myself. I should’ve known better, my birth attendant had gotten it in her head to go to the store to get us some things. She came to tell me so and I wanted to tell her it wasn’t a good idea, but at the same time I thought “sure, why not?” Sure enough, not 15 min after she left my water broke and things got real intense, real fast. It was so neat feeling my water break under the water! I didn’t know what had happened at first! I had felt the huge pressure and then I felt something come out and I was all looking around franticly wondering what it was! And here it was just me adding some more water to the pool! Right away, my spouse asked me if he should get in with me and I said yes (I’ve never seen his shorts come off so fast!) My doula called my attendant and told her to come back. Right away, I could feel the baby down low getting good and ready to meet the world. I remember being so shocked I was at the end of the road already! I remember feeling so blessed it was so ‘easy’.  HA.

My spouse was to receive the baby so he was in front of my and I was lying back in the pool, I remember feeling the immense pressure and saying, “I don’t like this part!” The head birthed with not much help from me and I had a moment of rest. I knew to take it slow and follow my own sensations and urges. The problem was, after the head came out, I didn’t have any. I started to get anxious. I wanted to wait for a contraction to push but I just wasn’t having one and I felt the need to do something. So I pushed anyway just strong little pushes until, finally, I got a contraction to back me up and then I gave it my ALL and my all was what it took. It was so surprising to me to have to ‘push’ the third baby out since my second baby just ‘shot’ right out of me.

Finally, he was out and my spouse brought him slowly up to the surface. I had planned on letting him have a moment with the baby but I remember getting up and just taking that baby right into my arms. I remember thinking, “Give me that thing!” I took a quick look between the legs and seeing for the first time what my surprise baby’s sex was . . . My third boy, I remember thinking that that was going to hurt later, but not now. Now I just looked him over and held him in my arms. I was amazed that I had just had the birth I had always wanted but hadn’t, till now, seemed able to get.

We sat there in the water for awhile, my spouse got in behind me and I laid back on him. I wanted to relax until the placenta came out but the baby didn’t want to nurse right away and was crying because I had tried to get him on my breast one too many times. Also, it was quite warm in there.

So I started to focus on that placenta getting out of me. I pushed with my contractions but the weirdest thing, only half of it came out of me and no matter how I pushed the rest wouldn’t come out. So, finally, I got up on my knees with some help, the baby still in my arms of course. And I remember reaching down and feeling the placenta in the water half out of my body, half in. I think I gave it a tiny pull with a push and it came right out. I was so relieved, it was really over now.

I got out of the pool right away. I got myself over to the couch and lay down to nurse my baby for the first time. We didn’t cut the cord until after the placenta had been out for at least an hour, which was a whole hour longer than with my first two babies.Laticus’ was my third birth but his was my first home birth, my first water birth, my first unassisted birth, and the first birth that I wouldn’t change anything about.