I’ve been on a bit of a rant lately about “Keep those damn hats off babies”, “Take off those wet sports bras”, “Get everyone skin-to-skin, dark, private” and I get told that “We have to choose our battles”, “It’s important to meet people where they are and not overwhelm them with picky details”, and other variations of advice to STOP IT!
These things are HUUUUUGE to me. I only want to speak into the ears of those who want perfect births. I had a perfect birth. What is a perfect birth? It’s a birth that you look back on when your child is 30 years old and you wouldn’t change a single thing about it. . . every smell, touch, taste, word spoken and beam of light goes to the grave with you as a top of the mountain of life experience. It’s an experience that makes up for so much of the day to day b.s. that is part of living in a human body. It helps to salve the losses and the heartaches and gives you a glimpse of the bliss that’s possible when all the stars align on a really, really good day. That’s what I want for every birthing woman. When I saw this little video clip (I think it’s from Russia), it made my heart sing as I prayed that no one would enter the frame and interfere with this woman’s bliss (no one does). Unfortunately the sound is missing but I love it that someone turns off the lights so baby could transition to this bright world in a slow way. I also love it that the toddler comes in with questioning eyes to see what the heck is happening in his world and looks to the Dad with questioning eyes and is reassured that “Yes, this is different but it’s all good, sweetie.” I just made that up but I love my own version of things. Enjoy.
I had a perfect birth too. I totally am on board with you, gloria. what a glorious video!
yes! yes! yes! We should be advocating the PERFECT birth especially as we become educated into all the ways that can be made possible!
I love you Gloria, and all you stand for. The word “perfect” makes me nervous though. Maybe it’s just semantics, but I’d feel more comfortable with a word like a “beautiful” birth rather than “perfect”. First of all perfect really means different things to different people, since we are all, thankfully, different. Also worried that it might make women strive for their vision of “perfection” that they’ve created in their heads, and then be disappointed when things go differently than their idealized version of perfection. Instead maybe we should consider that nothing in life is “perfect”, but many things in life, including birth, are and should be glorious and beautiful and life transforming. And in that way, despite whatever unexpected twists and turns we may encounter, it was the perfect experience for us. And BTW, the video is beautiful. 🙂
I’m high off this video.
great birth- thanks for sharing! Shashona, I hear what your saying, but can’t relate. Yes dissapointments happen in life, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t aim for the stars. Sometimes births happen differently than we hope, sometimes sadness or even tragedy touch them, but I too wish that every woman in the world had the possibility of experiencing birth where she wouldn’t wish to change a thing, as she looks back years later. and, Yeah of course they will all be different, just like us ladies : )
that was gorgeous! yes, it can be that beautiful and gentle. every woman needs to see this, absorb it into her pores and integrate it into her very being! that would change the world!
If only all women that are afraid of home births would see this & other “perfect” homebirths! Those Hospitals could be reserved for the births that are far from perfect. Very beautiful! Thank you for sharing!
DR
This clip totally reminded me of my second and third homebirth. Thank you!!!
*the second because I gave birth in a bathtub also (however my girl just flew out of me with one contraction – she was also born with the intact sac 😉 and because we also turned of the lights (we did it the second she was born)
*the third one because while the mother is waiting for the next wave she is caressing the babies head. Even today I can feel his hair on mine hands!