The following questions are valuable for clarifying what a really satisfying birth would look like.  Both the pregnant woman and her partner can do the exercise.  Give yourself lots of time and do it with ruthless honesty.  Keep it private if you like or share your thoughts with your partner/birth team if you think that would be helpful. 

1. With regard to this baby’s birth, what do I really want?

2. What actions can I take to get what I want?

3. What might I do that would sabotage or interfere with getting what I want?

4. How will I know that I got what I wanted?  i.e. what will the evidence be after the birth?

There are no correct answers.  Each woman will be different.  Once you’ve done the exercise, put the paper away and then bring it out when the baby is about 3 months old.  You’ll be surprised at how prophetic you can be.