28 thoughts on “Will You Keep Your Son Intact?

  1. Yes! My son is intact and any future sons will be as well. I’ve met parents who circ’d older children for infections such as uti’s or who have been told they should circ to prevent further or future infection and I say HELL NO, use medications if you have to but never ever remove that foreskin.

  2. Thank you for this video, Gloria. In the past, I have tried to be very “neutral” when bringing up circumcision with my clients, but many of them have told me that they could read right through me and knew that I was passionately against the cutting of newborns. After watching your interview, I am going to simply state my stance from the very beginning. We owe it to families to be completely honest with them and to explain exactly why we are passionate about keeping babies intact.

  3. Thank you for this, Gloria, I wished you would have kept on talking and talking, I enjoyed it so. Very interesting to see the point of view of the Dad, when he himself had been cut. It’s an issue that I cannot push with my husband, as he thinks he is just fine, and since he “can’t remember” being cut, it wasn’t a big deal. However, I am happy to say that the cycle of cutting in my family has been broken as we have kept our 3 sons intact. Ignorantly at first, (because Health Canada didn’t pay for it), plus simply because we couldn’t bear to do that harm and painful procedure on our babies, we made the decision not to cut our sons. Later when we had internet we could research what medical people were saying and everything we read said there was no medical benefit to circumcise, so we followed that logic. My sons are thankful 🙂

  4. Like Cindy said, I could have listened to you go on and on and on… The one part that really struck a chord with me is when you said, “To have this idea that, somehow, a little boy is tough? No, he is not! He’s a very fragile little being and he needs protection.” Those words literally made me tear up. As the mother of an 8 month old (intact) little boy, I know I would protect him with EVERYTHING that I possibly can, your words only reminded me of that fact. I’ve shared this video in the hope that it will have the same affect on other potential mothers. Thank you so much!

    • When I finally got my husband to talk about circumcision, he said he wished it hadn’t been done, but he realizes that his mother was not informed and says, well, what’s done is done, and you have to make the best of it. He is against genital cutting and thinks it’s wrong too. Unfortunately, men often don’t want to talk about this, especially if they are cut. My husband told me to think about it, when he was little, boys never cried (no, they hurried to their safe bedroom and cried their eyes out); boys couldn’t be sissies; and boys couldn’t complain, especially if they were hurt. How sad is this? What a huge expectation and judgement for boys, to have to be so tough. I am glad you made the statement that, no, boys need protection too!

  5. I loved this! I think even the simple change of wording from are you planning on circumcising to are you planning on keeping your son intact is HUGE!

    What a mind shift. Circumcision is seen as “normal” so when asked that, many wouldn’t think more. Where as putting it out there as keeping your son intact vs circumcising will bring up more interest.

    Thanks!

    • Even the word “circumcision” reduces the reality of the act. I find it difficult to say “c” because it does not convey the horror of what’s being done. It would be like saying “nonconsensual sex” instead of using the word that best describes, “rape”.

      You’ll notice, by looking at my face, in the interview that I search for the word I need when talking about what is being done and then describe it as “the operation”, “male genital mutilation”, “genital cutting”, “cut men”, etc. We have to stop dumbing people down with the “c” word which conveys a bit of medical sanction to this cruel and permanently disfiguring amputation.

  6. Im glad to say that my nephew was (home!)born on the 10th of this month and is staying intact because of me, his auntie, educating his mother. my brother in law is cut, and in his words is “Very happy with his Member” but my sister has put down her foot and is doing a great job of protecting that “fragile little being” as you say.
    thanks for this post, I’ll be sure to avoid the C word from now on. words have a lot of power.

    • Amy, how wonderful that you have a new nephew! Congratulations to the whole family. You probably already know this but make sure your sister knows to NEVER retract the foreskin. Only the boy himself should do that when he’s ready. Here’s a good link for care of the intact boy:
      http://www.circumstitions.com/Itsaboy.html
      Very good explanation of the anatomy, function and importance of the male foreskin. Also addresses common misconceptions in a culture where adult men are cut like the U.S.A.
      Gloria

    • Note: he’ll be “very happy with his member”, until he gets into his forties, fifties and beyond…. then he’ll find out about the damage. Gloria is right about the sexual function in the later years. Who wouldn’t want those years to be as good as any?

  7. Thank you Gloria. Seemingly such a simple shift in language can have such a profound impact. I sometimes grow weary of having the ‘he needs to be like his daddy’ conversation and weary of the ridiculousness of people thinking cutting boys is fine but cutting girls is the criminal thing, but I won’t give up.
    ps. my one year old son is intact, hooray!!

  8. Thank you for addressing this like you did. Sometimes, especially here in America, the ONLY thing a new parent learns about the dreaded “c” word is that question. JUST THE QUESTION! “Do you desire to circumcise?:)” “So, are we going to circumcise him today.” “Its time for his circumcision… yes?” ITS APPALLING! The question is proposing as a suggestion. I wish it was never asked. Its unethical to solicit any other unwarranted surgery. The foreskin is not a birth defect or a ailment that poses medical intervention. The default should be, instructions and education on the care of the intact prepuce organ and information regarding its functions and purpose. Ommision of these important facts perpetuates something so NORMAL to seem like some big scary “mystery”. And in order to win a $ale thats how the pro-cutting doctor would like for it to be. They make their money off fear. Its easier to con parents when they have little understanding of a normal body part or led to believe the myths like boys are too stupid to know how to clean themselves. Its tragic. Thank you again for this really important eye opening message.

    • I just don’t understand providing a consent form and then not really informing them. There is a major problem with “informed consent” in our country, as well as doing surgery that is not medically necessary on infants.

  9. Sad tonight. A good friend, who has been saying for years that she wanted me to be her doula should she ever become pregnant, is now expecting, which is exciting news. The sad part is, during a conversation about birth options, when I asked her if she had considered keeping a son intact, she said, “No, we’re circumcising.” When I asked why, I got the same old song and dance everyone gives, “It’s just cleaner.” When I pointed out that this isn’t true and can be proven, and asked her if she would like more information, she said, shortly, “No.”

    I know none of us are perfect. But why would one ignore the dangers of circumcision and the simple fact that intact boys, and later men, are almost all happier and healthier? I just don’t understand.

    I’m off to go have a cry, now, and pray for all the little boys.

    • I know how you feel. It is frustrating when people just don’t want to know the facts, but are willing to put their new baby through such an un necessary surgical procedure, and for what????? convenience, appearance, etc.?

  10. My son was born in 1987. I was 20 years old. I had never seen an intact adult male in my entire life. I was considering circumcising. They had just started to charge for the surgery. It was $30. We didn’t have much money and we also needed a car seat. So we bought the car seat.

    I did ask my Dad about it. He said he had been circumcised in the Navy when he was 20. He said, “Don’t do it.” And that was that.

    My son is intact and he is having a baby of his own. And I am pretty sure that baby gets to keep all of his pieces too. (If the baby happens to be a boy, we don’t know yet) I know better now and would never circumcise my boy if I had one today, good thing that it all worked out the way it did.

    • Thanks for your comment, Dar, and congratulations on the grandbaby. Now, in B.C., the fee for a sickcumcision (my new word for it) is about $300. I urge every parent of a new boy to put that money into a scholarship fund to benefit their son instead of subtracting from his health and future sexual pleasure.

  11. I loved your stance on protecting newborn baby boys. Circumcision is cruel and barbaric, and recent studies have shown that it permanently damages the brain, specifically the amygdala and frontal cortex, which control emotion and decision-making ability. This might explain the high U.S. divorce rate. My two young grandsons are intact and unvaccinated, which includes the “vitamin K” injection at birth with Merck’s phytonadione. No thanks ! My daughter walked through labor and transition, and she gave birth drug-free in a kneeling position. The second birth was bloodless, with the placenta and umbilical cord completely white and shrunken. We are convinced that this is the way nature intended women to give birth. Keep up the good work advocating for babies!

  12. I would love to hear the whole interview! I love your sense of self- power and sometimes I think I fall short of that. I totally agree, you cannot sit on the fence with the issue of circumcision. I am going to use that question, Are you going to keep your son intact? I told my husband that I am involved in this issue, to save babies and it’s as simple as that. How a society can think they are smarter than Mother Nature is beyond me! I worry that the “Mother protection instinct” isn’t always present, and even if it is, it still gets manipulated when many new moms are in a vulnerable state and they “give in” to others decisions. I don’t know how many moms I have talked to that say they just didn’t want to fight with their husbands about it and let them decide. I did that 32 years ago, and I still feel guilty that I did not protect my son.

  13. Thank you Gloria. This is one of the absolute hardest topics for me to discuss since I have 2 baby boys and can’t stand the thought of anyone hurting them (not to mention a past history of sexual abuse so I really can’t take it!). They are both wondefully intact, thank goodness. I say that because with my first we did discuss it, my mothering instincts were on alert, but I was open to it because it’s all I ever knew. I can’t even begin to describe how thankful I am that we did NOT do it! Poor thing went through so much during birth (ended in csect, I went on to have an awesome vbac home/waterbirth for a baby 2 whole pounds bigger, yay!) I just shudder to think if we had done that too. I always say it was one of the best decisions we ever made!! As a childbirth educator for gentle birth and baby care though, its still hard for me to discuss sometimes bc it is so senstive. However, at the hospital I taught at for several years I made sure to say as much as I could (wo getting fired at least). I seem to learn bits here and there as much as I can handle and this video did my heart good. =)

    • I think you’ve just inspired me to add a special column on my personal website for this topic, which I have been hesitant about. I was writing a blog today and I found myself discussing the topic there too, but haven’t published it yet….so I guess I just needed to see this haha! thanks =)

  14. I always cry at the part about laying down in front of their car. I love this, and wish I had not played nice nice and had done more to protect my nephews. It’s one of my great regrets.

  15. Pingback: College of Physicians & Surgeons of B.C. statement on Intact Boys | Wise Woman Way of Birth

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