HOW BIRTH STORIES GET JUMBLED

I wanted to share this memory with you, Ted. I don’t know if you remember this incident but I’ve told it to so many people and it always makes me laugh so I thought you might enjoy this trip down memory lane.

Many years ago, when we both had young kids and you were married to Karen, I bumped into you in the parking lot of the “7-11” on West Fourth Ave. We exchanged small talk for a while and, all of a sudden, you got a strange look on your face and blurted out the following, unforgettable (to me) sentence: “Gloria, is it true you were a topless dancer in China?” I couldn’t fathom how that thought could ever enter someone’s head. I’ve been accused of many things in my life but that was pretty far-fetched—I had never been to the Orient, I had never been to the local nude beach, none of what you said made any sense at all. But, somewhere in there, I started thinking “How could this husband of another birth attendant have gotten this idea in his head?”

Then, I remembered a birth that I had called Karen out to one evening. It was the second vaginal birth for the woman. When Karen arrived at the home, I went through the woman’s chart with her. The only surgery the birthing woman had ever had was a breast augmentation. She was a Caucasian woman who was married to a Japanese man. I explained to Karen that the couple had met in Japan and the first child had been born in a Japanese hospital, completely natural birth. The woman had been in Japan because she had taken a job as a hostess in a nightclub in Japan. japanese fan

Now, they were living in Vancouver and having their second child. The baby was born just after midnight and I sent Karen home soon after.

I’m guessing that what happened is that she crawled into bed with you, Ted, and you must have asked her “how did the birth go?” There wasn’t much to tell except that bit about her previous breast augmentation surgery so perhaps Karen told you about that. Somehow, in your sleepy state, that got changed into “Gloria Lemay was a topless dancer in China”.

Once I had retraced the strange pathway of that statement, I said to you: “You know, Ted, that’s not true about me BUT it’s way more interesting than my real life. Will you, please, spread that rumour about me!”

Thanks for the special moments and laughs that knowing you has added to my life. I love you and your dear family.

STORY FROM A STRAGGLER

STORY FROM A STRAGGLER

This story was told to me by a young man who came, on his own, to a birth film night that I hosted in Vancouver, BC. It was strange to have a 19-ish year old man in a room full of women. He said he had come because he saw the event advertised in a local paper and he thought it might be important in his future to know about birth. After the films ended, people milled about for a while chatting but, then, everyone dispersed except for him. He seemed to be loitering around. I wasn’t afraid to be alone in a building with him—he had such a pleasant way of being. As I packed up my gear and replaced things in the room, he said “Gloria, I’ve stayed behind because I want to tell you a story.” I was all ears. This is the story that the straggler recounted that night.

“My mother was born at home in Berlin, Germany. In Germany, it’s different from here. When someone has an apartment they stay in it their whole lives and sometimes pass it down through generations. It’s not like here where people move around a lot. In the old days, when my grandmother felt it was time to give birth, she would knock on her bedroom wall and that was a signal for her neighbor to come over and assist her with the birth. My grandmother did the same for her neighbor when the roles were reversed. So, my mother was born in my grandmother’s bed. Family Bed They were very close mother and daughter but my mother ended up falling in love with a Canadian and moved to Canada after she was married. She would take every vacation opportunity to fly back to Germany and be with my grandmother.

One day we got the news that grandmother had cancer and was dying. The doctors gave her six months to live. My mother took a leave of absence from her work and flew to Germany to be with her mother through this passage. The night that my grandmother died, my mother was holding my grandmother in her arms in the same bed and bedroom that my mother had been born in.”

That young man’s story has stayed with me. I’m so glad he came to my event and that he felt it was important to share with me. The more I ponder on this story, the more I think about him and I wonder if he has had children of his own. I think that, because he was the son and grandson of those two women, is why I felt so safe with him. Love Gloria
p.s. thanks for your encouragement to tell these stories, Babz Covington and Carla Hartley. I love you both so much. Please share your stories, too.

LITTLE THINGS MEAN A LOT

Quote

I wanted to write this story down because it is one I can’t forget.

I was walking back to my car after a late night downtown meeting and I was accompanied by Peter and Molly, old friends. Molly was someone I really admired and she had two young children. As we were walking along together, Molly said: “Gloria, I don’t think I’ve ever told you what an incredible difference you made to me.” My ears perked right up, I love to be acknowledged, but I couldn’t remember anything special that I had done for Molly.

She said, “Remember that day we bumped into each other on the street when I was hugely pregnant with Caroline, my second daughter? We hadn’t seen much of each other during my pregnancy and I was working with two registered midwives and planning a homebirth.End of Pregnancy

My mother had come out from Eastern Canada to help the family at the end of my pregnancy and it seemed to be taking forever for the baby to come. I was worried that my mom might be really scared to see me birthing and I had a feeling she didn’t like the idea that, this time, I would have the baby at home. I didn’t even want to talk to her about the idea I had of having a waterbirth. Everything else about the birth was going smoothly but I had this nagging fear about my mom’s reactions. Well, Gloria, you listened to everything I said and then you said “Oh, do you know what? I have the most amazing video of waterbirth that you just have to watch. Everyone who sees it has a lovely smooth birth, you’re going to love it”. (The video was Barbara Harper’s “Birth Into Being”). You went to your car trunk and presented me with the vhs tape. I took it home and we watched it that evening. My mom watched it with us and said at the end “Why don’t you get one of those water tubs and do it that way, Molly!” All my worries were gone and the next morning my birth process started. The birth was everything we wanted. Afterwards my Mom said “Honey, that is the most beautiful thing that has ever happened in my whole life. I’m so glad I came out to Vancouver and got here on time to be present to the miracle.”
My Mom returned home to Eastern Canada. She was a widow and she liked to live in her own home alone. A few months after Caroline was born, we got the terrible news that my mother had taken a fall down a flight of stairs and she died. The grief was terrible. Amidst all the grieving I had this sense of peace that my Mom had been present to a miracle and that we had shared a profound experience. I don’t know if it would have unfolded that way if you hadn’t run to your car and lent us that video.”

 Only two remain undilated.


Only two remain undilated.

Molly (not her real name) only told me this story when the baby in this story was about 12 years old. You never know what the ripples in the pond of your actions might be. Love Gloria

MIDWIFERY IN CANADA, THE MESS WE’RE IN

Many people are confused about why Canadian birth attendants are prosecuted for the most minor actions. . . . calling herself a “midwife”, doing a vaginal examination at a woman’s request or with permission, advising a woman about how to eat for her unborn baby, etc.

Let me tell you how we got into the mess we’re in. Yes, it is a mess. Hundreds of thousands of dollars spent on legal actions, clients left upset and confused, hospital workers unclear about the legalities in their area, each province of Canada having a different wording in their Act, midwives mistrusting doulas and each other. It’s a climate of fear and turmoil that isn’t getting better after more than 20 years of legislating midwifery. (Ontario regulated in 1993, B.C. followed in 1998)

The first problem is that legislators tried to make laws to cover a life event that is natural and one that a woman can do all by herself, if she chooses. Birth is a normal life process. We don’t usually legislate who can be with an adult when they are in their own home. What can you make illegal about a woman having a baby and choosing someone to be with her? Well, you can make it illegal for that someone to charge money for being there. That doesn’t really fit with a concern for the well-being of the woman/baby. If a birth attendant is really wealthy can they go to help birthing women with no fear of the law? If the pregnant woman wants to donate money to her helper’s children, is that illegal? You can see it gets very tangled. The laws have been twisted and turned to try to make them less ridiculous as time goes by but no province has succeeded in coming up with wording that makes common sense.

Then, the law makers thought, “okay let’s make it illegal to do clinical acts like vaginal exams, injections, blood tests, etc.” Trouble with that is a) it is almost impossible to police these activities when they happen in a private home and, b) women allow their partners to perform vaginal exams all the time. Many massage therapists do pelvic therapy with vaginal exams, naturopaths, nurses, etc. so how does it help to say that one particular group cannot do vaginal exams? So, by saying that only a member of a midwifery disciplinary body may do a pelvic exam, things get almost laughable. Since any 16 year old boy can figure out how to do it, it’s hardly an act that needs 4 years of training. Many lay people have to give injections to their children/loved ones, learning how to draw blood takes about 2 hours, all these things are done by a myriad of workers in the community. It is grasping at straws to make these minor clinical acts a basis for a prosecution.
FirstNationsMW

The original intention of seeking licensure started with midwives wanting to be paid under the National Medical insurance plan and to be protected from prosecution/persecution from the giant medical monopoly. That intent backfired right away due to the medical profession. Instead of embracing the midwives as colleagues, they began advising the clients of registered midwives to sue their midwife. There have been lawsuits against registered midwives here in B.C. where millions of dollars have been paid out to families. If a child has any type of neurological damage, the family physician advises the parents that “ the money won’t come out of your midwife’s pocket. That’s why they carry insurance. The insurance is there and you don’t know if your child will need special care that’s not covered by the National Medical insurance plan when he/she gets older. You’d better sue now.” Of course, they would never say that if the care provider was a physician. You can guess what happened then. The insurance rates for midwives right across the country went through the roof. Different provinces have different schemes for covering the midwives but the bottom line is that the government really doesn’t want more midwives because each midwife has to be subsidized for about $30,000 per year in order to provide insurance for her practice. If the midwives had to pay it all, they would be out of business immediately. The government also doesn’t want to give them a raise which leads to a great deal of bitterness on the part of the registered midwives.

Registered midwives are between a rock and a hard spot. They want to follow their dream and have happy, contented clients BUT they rely on the physicians to give them hospital privileges and, if they don’t toe the line of what the doctors wish them to do, they can lose those privileges or even lose their registration.

So, when you’re wondering what’s going on with registered-midwife-generated court cases to pound unregistered birth attendants out of business in Canada, this is some of the background. Because the numbers of registered midwives is low AND the midwives are so limited by the medical profession, there exists an alternative birth attendant market. There are a number of women throughout the country who still go out to help at home births without a blessing from the medical profession/government. They simply don’t want to work in that space between the rock and the hard spot.

Preparing for a Home Birth

Home Birth Supply List

Please let me know well in advance if you are unable to find any item on the list. Collect all supplies and place them into a box. Place the box in an easily accessible place. Please tell the midwives where the supplies are kept when they arrive for the birth.

 24 flat incontinent pads to use under Mom’s bottom (22” x 24”)
 1 box of 4”x4” gauze squares
 2 boxes of Super Kotex pads (overnight)
 1 box or bag of salt (cheap, for stained linens)
 1 450 ml bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide (for removing stains from carpets, etc.)
 1 small bottle of bleach or Sudsy Ammonia
 1 100 ml bottle of Witch Hazel
 1 sealed small bottle of Olive Oil for perineal massage, baby’s bum
 1 bag of “pure” cotton balls
 2 large green garbage bags
 2 Plastic sheets (shower curtain liners work)
 1 flashlight with extra batteries
 1 plug-in room heater (if needed)
 1 hot water bottle
 1 nail brush
 1 tea strainer
 Womanly Art of Breastfeeding (book)

Nice Extras:
Bath pillow, candles, ice cubes, popsicles, plant mister, music, camera/film, tapes, thermometer, massage cream, heating pad, small Fleet Enema (if you get constipated a lot in pregnancy), reusable cotton menstrual pads.

Preparing Your Home:
Make up 5 casserole dishes to get you through the first days after birth and freeze them. Put a plastic sheet on your bed in the last week of pregnancy in case your waters break. Dust and clean the bedroom. Clean the toilet and bathtub. Clear off the top of a chest of drawers or other surface for us to put our instruments on. Make arrangements to have your pets out of the house during the birth.

Sterile Linens:
 6 face cloths
 6 bath towels
 2 bed sheets
 2 cotton cloth diapers
 6 receiving (flannel) blankets for baby
 1 undershirt and nightie/sleeper for baby

Put clean linens in HOT dryer for one half hour. During the last 10 minutes throw in 3 brown paper grocery bags and heat them through. When dryer finishes, fold the hot linens with clean hands and put them in hot bags. Seal them with staples or tape and label the outside. Store in a dry place. You do not need to use your best linens…clean is our main concern.

Electrolyte Balanced Drink (Labour-Ade):
1/3 cup lemon juice
1/3 cup honey or maple syrup
1/4 tsp salt
1 crushed calcium tablet (or 1/4 tsp calcium powder)
enough water to make 1 quart

Mix all ingredients together- use warm water to help dissolve the honey and calcium, and then chill. You can also make ice cubes. Buy enough ingredients to make 4 quarts. This is a delicious drink for after the birth as well. *After the baby is born you can add 1/4 tsp. cream of tartar to this drink to assist with peeing after the birth.

Podcast available for download

I had a great time being interviewed by Alain Desaulniers, DC, recently. Enjoy this podcast. Love, Gloria

Thanks so much for sharing about your AWESOME birth story and for your willingness to share so openly and authentically. I hope that millions are transformed through your words and message! I look forward to connecting with you soon! You rock!
I would be honoured if you would share with your circle of influence!

Your Show’s link:
http://everydayrevolutions.net/022glorialemay/
Main Website Link:
http://EverydayRevolutions.net
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http://EverydayRevolutions.net/iTunesRevolution
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https://soundcloud.com/everyday-revolutions
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https://www.facebook.com/BeTheEverydayRevolution
Lastly, as Everyday Revolutions is quickly becoming a renowned podcast and resource for health, inspiration and motivation for living an awesome life:
• 40,000+ Downloads in just the first few months
• Ranked as high as #5 in iTunes Health, #1 in iTunes Fitness & Nutrition, #2 in iTunes New & Noteworthy, #77 in iTunes Overall.

Thank you for giving back,
Alain

Dr. Alain Desaulniers

Family Chiropractor, Everyday Revolutions Podcast Host, Educator, Keynote Speaker everydayrevs

Subscribe to the Everyday Revolutions podcast on iTunes, Sticher Radio or Soundcloud

6 Point Recipe for Making New Parenthood as Difficult as Possible

4 Days old and the milk is in. Continuous skin to skin in bed with mother.

4 Days old and the milk is in. Continuous skin to skin in bed with mother.

1. Start with giving the birthing woman antibiotics in high doses so that the baby develops candida (thrush) and colic. Then mix in a lot of stitches, either to repair the perineum or the lower belly/uterus.

2. Separate the mother and newborn. Make the mother walk a long distance (with her stitched body) to be able to see/feed her newborn.

3. Teach her that the best (and only) way to feed her baby is to sit upright in a chair

4. Discourage sleeping together as a family. Don’t let her know that lying down to nurse will enable her (and her partner) to get much more sleep.

5. Tell her that the baby is not getting enough milk and don’t give her the tools to increase her supply.

6. Scare her into thinking that her instincts about caring for her baby are not to be trusted and that she should listen to professionals for all things to do with her baby’s health.

Checking Your Own Cervix

How to Check Your Own Cervix- “it’s not rocket science”

“I think it’s a good and empowering thing for a woman to check her own cervix for dilation. This is not rocket science, and you hardly need a medical degree or years of training to do it. Your vagina is a lot like your nose- other people may do harm if they put fingers or instruments up there but you have a greater sensitivity and will not do yourself any harm. Clean your hands well and make sure your fingernails are trimmed and rounded.

“The best way to do it when hugely pregnant is to sit on the toilet with one foot on the floor and one up on the seat of the toilet (or if that yoga is too difficult, put one foot up on the bathtub or a stool with your knee bent).

toilet Put two fingers in and go back towards your bum. The cervix in a pregnant woman feels like your lips puckered up into a kiss. On a non-pregnant woman it feels like the end of your nose. When it is dilating, one finger slips into the middle of the cervix easily (just like you could slide your finger into your mouth easily if you are puckered up for a kiss). As the dilation progresses the inside of that hole becomes more like a taught elastic band and by 5 cms dilated (5 fingerwidths) it is a perfect rubbery circle like one of those Mason jar rings that you use for canning, and about that thick.

“What’s in the centre of that opening space is the membranes (bag of waters) that are covering the baby’s head and feel like a latex balloon filled with water. If you push on them a bit you’ll feel the baby’s head like a hard ball (as in baseball). If the waters have released you’ll feel the babe’s head directly.

“It is time for women to take back ownership of their bodies.”
-Gloria Lemay, Vancouver, BC

http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/birth.html#Self-Checking

    Update

One birthing woman who checked her own cervix described it like this: “I could feel my bag of water bulging down and then later the baby’s head once the waters broke- so cool.”
“How did I do it? I just reached up in all the way to the back and felt. It’s sort of awkward/difficult to reach but if you are familiar with what your cervix normally feels like, sort of like the tip of your nose, it gets shorter and stretchy. I felt it at like maybe 2 cm, about 6, which is when I could feel the bag, and then when it was time for baby to come. When the contractions were getting super intense I pushed a bit and that was enough to break my waters. Babe came shortly after.”
(shared with permission) 2014

Polycythemia and the natural emergence of the placenta

I have only encountered it once in my career (over 1300 births plus lots of prenatal class parents, 35 years in the birth biz). The baby with polycythemia I worked with was very ill with it, she was hospitalized on Day 2 of life and had some blood removed which improved her condition right away. She remained in hospital for about 7 days. She had Down syndrome and polycythemia can be part of the presentation with Down. A very good friend who is also a doula has a daughter with Down Syndrome and her story is almost exactly the same as the baby girl in my practice i.e. polycythemia after a gentle homebirth which was treated well in hospital. Both these baby girls were discharged from hospital much faster than the medical professionals involved expected.

I am a believer in leaving the birth of the placenta for a full 30 minutes (or longer). If the placenta births before 30 minutes, it is rare, and it means that the mother pushed it out without any advice from me. In my work, the cord is clamped and cut only after the placenta is out. With the one exception of the girl with Down Syndrome, I do not see cases of polycythemia, jaundice or any of the other dire predictions that the medical profession warns about with leaving the cord to pulse until it stops naturally. Fear of polycythemia is no justification for continuing on with amputating the placenta prematurely. Waiting only two or three minutes to clamp the cord is still an assault on the baby.

Couple cutting cord after birth of placenta

Couple cutting cord after birth of placenta


Remember, scissors, hemostats and cord clamps have only been invented for a short time in human history. Before that, people waited till the placenta came out naturally before doing anything about the umbilical cord. When the baby is adjusting to life with the cord intact, the blood goes back and forth through the two arteries and one vein in the cord. . . it isn’t just going in to the baby from the placenta, it’s coming out, too, in correct balance for that baby’s anatomy. The placenta was trusted to sustain the well being of the baby in every way for nine months, I am certain that it’s okay to let it keep performing that function for another 30 minutes.

(This is a comment from Facebook that I made in response to a query about cord clamping. The women who birth at home are not induced, not medicated and receive no routine injection of pitocin after the birth. They are healthy women with full term babies, for the most part.) Gloria Lemay